avoidance

Ok, I know I'm not supposed to, but I just can't help it, I'm avoiding my parents.  They keep calling off the hook and I just turned off the ringers, I just don't feel like dealing with them and their emotional abuse.  I know I'll have to sooner than later, I just feel like I have to gain my strength.  I have been reviewing my childhood and young adulthood, and my relationship with my parents through those times, and I'm finding that the emotional "conditioning" started when I was very, very young, with the guilt, the control, and the attitude of what was always expected of me as their child.  I was raised in fear of my mother dying from a non-life threatening condition, and my dad would place lots of guilt on us using that as leverage.  I was raised to think my brother and I were not the center of their world, but that they were the center of ours.    I was raised that I should be there for them ALWAYS no matter the situation, and that I should drop everything to aide them if need be, no matter what.  Honestly, they make me feel like this life I live is just temporary until they say its time to come home and help them, I honestly think that's how they think.
     I don't want to see my mom cry; she's always used crying to control me.  She knows I can't stand to see people hurting or upset, and that I give in when I see tears.  I don't want to turn them away and be the cause of them doing something stupid.  Yet I know if I don't they will plow over my life that has taken me so much time and care to build.   

     They only know how to take.  My dad is a spoiled trust fund kid all grown up; he hasn't worked since he was 35.  Both of them have no clue about reality, they have always had everything handed to them and they never gave anything back, never donated money to a good cause, not even when I asked them too.  Never helped the homeless, or children in need (even though my mom was a foster child and always claimed to want to help).  They never learned how to give for the sake of giving, only when it had a lot of strings attached and they used those strings to never let anyone forget what they did for them.  Their friends back home have walked away after they flaunted their money around and never came to their friends in times of need, like when 2 of their best friends lost their children.  Never went to their funerals or called them.  Greed killed my parents and now they want to suck my life in too.